Sharing and Blessing

   We live in a fast-paced ege where everyone rushes just to keep up.It’s easy to get caught up in our tasks,becoming too busy for what God says is most important- listening to His words.

Before making schedule, take time to focus on what God wants from my schedule,take time focus on what God wants from all my activities. Knowing what God has said before I rush into my day will help me avoid foolish mistakes. This is my desire to honor my heavenly Father in whatever I say, in whatever I do.

I was functioning hectically recently. I never mentioned to anyone that I am busy but this semester I have to admit that I am busy and fatigue. I dont like people ask me this question " how are you?" I dont like to answer that I am busy.

I dont like to stay far away from my comfortable zone( my house at hometown) because everything will be different and changed.The chances of developing eating disorder is high (for me),I think I will have the potential to develop bulimia,crapulent, or hypochondria if I work or study under constant pressure. I am allergic to stress. Stress and over worry will easily disrupt my physiological functions.

One thing i notice recently, every day I have friend request in friendster. May it be someone I am not acquainted or familiar with or some other friends that lost contact for long time. I really didnt expect all this. It surprised me. I will ask myself, why these people want to add me in their friendster?I thought they dont know me or they have already forgotten me. Honestly speaking, I will hesitate for a while or even take few days to approve their request. But if I think another way from different perspective, it’s such a wonderful blessing and sharing. Guess what,before this, I just have 2 friends in my friendster and i never initiate myself to invite more friends!

Another imporatnt thing, I want to express my appreciation to all of you that add me as your friend. I hope that you guys will be blessed as well. Friends are not for gossiping, friendster is not just for uploading all the nice photos to show off. I hope that our purpose are not only to take a glimpse at others’ photos and gain nothing, but it’s good to share ur ups and downs with people around. May it be joy or sorrow, we still can be a blessing to others. Thank God because His joy is in our heart, Trust God because His presence abide in us. I encourage you to share with me in your blog. Any prayer request is much welcomed!:)

This few weeks was tough for me.Loads of group discussions, assignments, presentations, tests, activities that require time consuming preparations and efforts. I have invested plenty amount of time to search for informations, and group discussion but still can’t see the fruitful results..I cant do it systematically due to confusion, overanticipation, and other underlying barriers..I have squeezed my brain juice to plan the induction set and the lesson, just to gain the students’ interest and to create an effective teaching and learning atmosphere. A lesson plan might sounds nothing as i thought before, but it has crushed me to ground! It’s not easy, absolutely not easy to come out with an efficient micro teaching. As a presenting group, we have to get ready for comments. Compliments will be encouraging, conversely negative comments will be disappointing. Anyway, I like the comments that truly pinpoint our weaknessess, not to crush us but to stretch us to reach higher..

Continuous assignments and tests really torture me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Somehow I found that I enjoy my hectic routine. Not matter how worst the situation, by the end, I can heave a sigh of relief. Problems are temporary. It’s designed to strengthen and discipline us. It reminds me what the bible said those who sow in tears will reap in joy. Today’s thorn will become tomorrow’s flower.

My birthday was a blessed one..Thanks a lot to my housemates,for giving me a pretty surprise when the clock strike at 0:00 17.8.2006. I was busy that time with my group discussion until late night and I really forgot my birthday at that moment. Guess what, I dont have a bakery baked cake…BUT I received a homemade cheese cake from my housemates. My name ‘Leena’ was embedded in the cheese cake with cornflakes!This cake was a different one, it was made by my housemates, a highly sought after,100% authentic, limited edition birthday cake. Really salute them for their creativity.It’s ingredients are not just crem cheese, cookies, nuts and butter butalso mixed with friendship love portion,hehe… I was shocked when i know the cake is made for me becasuse I am so blurred all the time. I am the person who bought the ingredients and taught them how to make cheese cake but I dont know they are actually making the cake for me!I Just want to thank all of you for planning such wonderful celebration for me, though you guys are busy and tired with the assignments and activities.I didnt express my heart-felt thanks to all of you individually but I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. You know lah, I am very introvert and dont know how to voice it out.:P but your voice,your smiles,your face your unique characteristics will never be forgotten.

     I also received a sculptured ballon inflated with helium gas with long string from Anna, my cell group member. What a special birthday present! I have to carry the ballon all the way from campus to my apartment!!

       I really thank God for bringing all the friends to my life albeit I have experienced  ups and down in friendship.Friends are excellent buffers in time of crisis, wonderful companion in time of happiness…Friends should be mathematical, they should multiply the joy, divide the sorrow, substract the pass and add to tomorrow. Friends are gifts from God.

      Praise God that I have an enjoyable and blessed birthday though I am in the midst of my busyness.Praise God for strengthen me, that I can still enjoy at the last minute preparation for everything I do.

   Life is full with joys and tears. I can’t stifle a laugh when there’re happiness and joy, I can’t stifle a cry when there’re sorrows and sadness. Laughter is the best medicine, in contrary, just as crying can be healthy. Whatever it takes for an individual to vent and release stress is essential to our emotional health, even a voice is better than brooding in silence. For me, one of the method to ease some of my trapped feelings is writting. I like to express my feelings through words than through face to face communication. I can write a lot when I feel like want to pen on, and i can be very wordy.:P The negative element about me is my poor ability to sosialize with others, verbally.

       A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets….There’re emotional land mine, sweet memories,painful experiences,grievance, etc etc.

          Thank God today for the smiles that have come to my face and yours because His joy is in my(your) heart. I have to keep reminding myself that, "I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me." (Philippians 4:13). I must trust that God has allowed the suffering and pain to be wasted and to be a mean of discipline through which faith,love and patience and grace may be cultivated in my life.

      Convo is coming…phew! Again I will see purple surround USM campus!Though it’s not my convo, but it’s a great oppurtunity to meet all the " long time no see" seniors.:P As I went to take the jubah for Janet and Yi Woei, this question strike my mind : when is my convo? Aiyoh, still long way to go lah..I have to wait for 2 more years! I just want to graduate faster!!!

      Time to spend $$ to grab the convo gifts for the graduating seniors. Teddy bear?  Flower and roses? Cards…..? Headache lah, loads of ideas but no answer.

      Convo week is the time when i can lepak around and visit the gerai-gerai in campus,hehe…some of the lectures and tutorials have been cancelled but this time a bit different,I m no longer lepakking around aimlessly :p.I ve to pick the rubbish during the convo week..Guess what? not being punished to pick the garbage lah..This is one of PKA( Persaudaraan Kristian Agape) activities to bless USM and the community. Picking rubbish is not embarrasing and something you and me should be ashamed of or look down to it! Sadly, it’s a virtue that many many people reluctant to practice :(sob,sob..

      Even for me , I never experienced cleaning up the rubbish in public..I pray that I will have the willing spirit to carry the work, not just to fulfill the requirement, not just to finish my  duty, not a job that expect to earn reward, not …Pray that all of us are willing to cast our own crowns by reaching out to the community to extend God’s grace..As PKA’s theme is beutifully written: Grace Expounded, Grace Experienced, Grace Extended..I pray that P.I.T (Pick It Today) will be beutifully done and we will also experience God’s heavy downpour of grace and shower of blessing..Blessed be to all those involved in the cleaning crew!

This few weeks  made me out of shape. I felt like being lost in the reality. I lost the eagerness to do everything especially all those stuffs related to my study. I just like to be lazing around and do whatever I like. I should learn how to love the thing i do but not do the thing i love. I think this will be a tough lesson for me to learn..

I am into sports and adventurous outdoor games, not the studious type of campus student. All the outdoor activities have created a quantum leap and added colorful spectrum in my life. Imagine how monotonous the life would be without taking a break to smell the roses out there. The awesome nature and the wonderful creation are such a tremendous blessing to human beings. It’s amazing…

I dislike assignment which i ve to follow the fixed format,requirements, instructions..,I hate to follow all the rules!! I dont like group discussions, sorry I have to admit that i dislike that..because I cant really express myself, my expectation,my point of view and so forth that hide deep inside me. I am such an complicated homo sapien that is so complicated to comprehend yet I lead a simple life:P

I just feel like want to write something in my blog to overcome my void and emptiness i am experiencing right now..I am not talkative,not worthy but I am wordy :P…I prefer to vent out my feeling in words than voice it out verbally..

It’s weekend again, I like it because I will have more time to spend with myself and do what I like,to laze around,hehe..and to catch up what I have been missed..

I drink a lot of honey and apple cider recently,hehe..because I have sore throat!It is my secret recipe and organic non- chemical medicine to heal my sickness,haha..I always promote the natural prescription and self-immuned in figthing the antigen and the disgusting virus:P The drugs sold in clinic or pharmacy are the ‘no no’ taboo for me,hehe. Dont get irritated by my philosophy ya!:P

OK lah, I better pen off now..God bless you

  Tonight’s Fantasy, Tomorrow’s Memory.. the theme of my education night. This was the 1st edu night I have within my 4 years campus life. For me, being frankly, it was out of what i expected..I wonder I ve to call it as orientation  dinner or just a party for fun or an opportunity to see how all of us,the future teachers will be dressed up in that night. My coursemate looked sooo much different after they make up an dressed up as kings and queens! Everyone has their uniqueness and beuty. The beuty depends on how you define it. As the saying goes : "Beuty is in the eyes of the beholder". That night was really an eye opener for me. I never experienced a dinner as noisy as this before! :PWe have bunch of games, qoir, dance…it might be fun for some of us but not for some the other way. I think it has been a little messy and lost control when everyone keep posing for photos all the time!!! Make every shot a power shot??

           The negative element i can say is the investment we made. I mean most of us sure spent a lot for that edu night. Dinner dress, cosmetics, garments, make up, hair dress and etc…we know it’s not economic but we just compromise with ourselves and lost our rational to get to it.

         Anyway, I left nothing but footprints, keep nothing but memory, take nothing but photos!

My last semester break was truly eventful and I enjoyed it most of the time. I experienced many " first time" in my university life. Went for mission trip to Sarawak for the 1st time, working for the 1st time( Organic Shop), assigned as Assistant cell group leader for the 1st time..Thank God for providing all these wonderful opportunities for me to learn, to bless, to be blessed, to help, to grow, to rely more on Him and to trust Him in so many ways,may it be good or bad,there is a lesson behind.

One thing that always strike my mind is relationship with others especially friends. Last time, I didnt see friends as that much important, and being honestly I dont treat my friends well. Sometimes I do think of friends are just to be exploited. An introvert and passive person like me would not initiate myself to make more friends or even take effort to develope a deeper friendship with others. I cant share my sorrows with friends, so my intimacy in relationship is just limited to my family members.

I really thank God for helping me in this area of darkness in my friendship. God heard my prayers, every prayer He answered and fulfilled them according to His timing and purpose. Now I appreciate all the friends that God has brought them in my life. It’s always about God that intervene and discipline and guide me through all the struggles. Thank God for being part of my life. He is holding me and never let me go though i might fall and disobey Him.

I pray that I will be a living testimony for others so that everyone will be blessed. It’s so honored to be called children of light. Let us keep shining for Jesus! When one lost child is found, the heaven rejoice and God’s glory is shown!Halleluya!

  buried with Him in baptism, in which you also were raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. ( Colossians 2:12)

My water baptism was on 8th April. Baptism means immersed in the water. This was a public confession of my faith. It also brings me into a covenant relationship with God.

I accepted Christ many years ago but this is the day I am born again in Christ. Before my baptism, Iwent through some hardship that really pressed me down. Series of problems attacked me either spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

One week before my baptism, it was spiritual attack. It happened during my sleeping time. I was overwhelmed by the enemy. The enemy was like attacking me physically and bothered me. I struggled and try my utmost strength to get rid of the disturbance. I didnt pray immediately for God’s protection. The attacks seems getting worst and aggresive. The more I fight back the more terrible it goes on. At that moment, I surrendered to God. Wow… I experienced peace. I sense God’s presence and protection. The enemy has subsided. This happened for few days and I was so afraid to sleep. I think I ve developed sleeping phobia!

I thank God that my roomates prayed for me. Corporate prayer is powerful. No matter how powerful the enemies are, it’s just temporary victory. All problems are temporary.

What I learnt was God is always there, no matter what difficulties we face. It’s temporary but God is eternal. God can use hardtime to draw us closer to Him. Through the hardship, my relationship with God is restored. I pray that our relationship can blossom into Christ-centered relationship. thank God for all the problems. It strengthen me in a creative way! Praise Him…

My 2nd year exam was over! Thank God that this time I was so blessed during my exam weeks and study week. I was blessed with a good health, good short term memories ( for those who know me, I used to study at veryyy last minute) It’s not good though but God has truly blessed me. Study at eleven hour is torturing, stressful and worrisome, but God is sooo good, He share my burden during my hard time. Though I was pressed, not crushed. Not weakened but stretched out. In the midst of busyness tru out the exam period, I can say I was crack up but at the end, I feel a sense of satisfaction. not by my own strength, not by my power, not my wisdom but all I ve are provided by God.

      This exam was different from the previous one. I can answer the questions with much time left over, I am not saying I can score with flying colors, and I am not blowing my own trumpet, I cant boast anything but one thing I can boast is God. God have a sense of humor. He will surprise you with such amazing things. god is faithful all the time, the question is, are we faithful to God in return?